We’ve all had this experience, the frustration of doing “inner work,” and feeling like nothing has changed.
Even more frustrating when it is an issue that you’ve spent years addressing to no avail.
I hear it all the time from people on social media and from clients.
“Esther, I have been working on this issue for two, five, seven, ten, twenty years and it’s not changing. What is going on?”
Having facilitated inner work sessions for 19 years, I have noticed some common themes, patterns and possibilities of why you may not be seeing and experiencing the change you seek.
My hope is that what I share in this blog, will create awareness and insight, and equipped with new information, you will be inspired regarding next steps; a new focus.
The first three points are the most common stumbling blocks I have come across. But ALL are important to consider.
Inner work > turning within for self reflection, examination and healing of beliefs, patterns, behaviors, concepts of reality, unresolved memories, childhood trauma, unexpressed emotion, outside influence etc. holding you back from living a better life mentally, emotionally, physically; spiritually.
1. You are not going deep enough with your inner work. The inner work is surface level at best and never allows for getting to and facing the core belief, cause, situations; memories from the past contributing to the problem. It’s like dusting your home and saying you’ve cleaned when what is required is a deep cleaning of closets, drawers, space under the bed, grime in the corners and a good scrubbing.
2. You are stymied by blind spots. Blind Spot > A lack of awareness and consciousness of your patterns and beliefs. It takes a very conscious and aware person to see their own blind spots. Most often we need other people to point them out to us. Friends and family are really good at this 🙂 Also a good therapist.
3. You do the inner work but fail to anchor it into your day to day reality through action steps. Action based on your new awarenesses, inner shifts etc. is required.
4. You hold certain expectations as to how the change will show up in your life. Often Change IS happening but it is not unfolding according to expectations and so it is disregarded.
5. Lacking Patience. Change begins within at the level of belief, thought, perception which leads to change in behavior and patternings. It takes time. Impatience will have you abandoning the process and cause a, “Nothing is happening,” response. Troubleshoot impatience.
6. Like it or not inner work requires addressing layers of issues. Sometimes in order to get the change you want, detours have to be made to address issues you think are not connected but are connected and stand in the way. When I am working with someone who has done years of work on a subject ie. money or self worth and still there is no big shift, I suggest we take a back door approach and work on an issue that may seem less important or that has been neglected. This approach often reveals hidden from “sight,” blocks, and gets energy moving again in a fruitful direction.
7. There’s a point of view that gets floated that the past is the past, forget about it and move forward. No need to go backwards and address the past. While this practice may work for some, it’s usually a short term fix. Eventually the past rears up because that unaddressed issue + embedded emotion from years ago, continues to live and play out on the subconscious level of the mind. Eventually it surfaces.
Do you have to face every troublesome situation, memory or event from the past? No, but definitely the ones holding you back from creating a better life; what you desire.
One of the many benefits of doing solid inner work is that when you address and unravel one issue, other issues attached will lessen in effect, or simply go away.
8. People avoid inner work to avoid reliving emotions of the past. They feel the guilt, shame, fear, sadness, trauma (unexpressed emotion) will be too much to handle. I have had many clients say, Esther if I tap into this sadness or pain, I will start crying and never stop. While I understand that feeling, I’ve had it too, that outcome doesn’t happen. Yes sometimes people cry and expel emotion for days because there is so much bottled up inside. But eventually it comes to an end and the release feels good on every level.
This point begs the question, Do you have to relive emotion of the past when engaging in inner work? Not necessarily. The way I guide my clients through a session is as an observer of the event rather then jumping back into the situation. HOWEVER, if that unresolved memory/situation is steeped in unexpressed emotion, it is best for the trapped emotion (trauma) to be released. Sometimes this happens in the middle of a session and sometimes in the days following when the letting go and new realizations sink in. For a successful outcome let the emotion move up and out.
9. You continue to wait for someone or something outside of yourself to save you or to make the change for you. This is a BIG program many people hold even when consciously saying, Yes I know it’s up to me. Are you waiting for a person, politician, galactic, religious figure, big energy boom, mom/dad/spouse/friend/employer/stranger etc to save you from yourself and your situation? It’s time to stop. I can help you but you must be willing. Some people subconsciously thrive in playing victim, feeling powerless; not taking responsibility for their life.
10. Even though you are adamant that you really, really want the change you seek, there is still a fear or belief preventing the change. This is a common stumbling block. If it feels true to you, ask yourself, What is the worst thing that can happen if I make this change? Your answers reveal limiting beliefs and layers to address. Keep flushing them up and out. The I’m not ready stance is a good example. Explore the I’m not ready.
11. You are not 100% committed to making the change even though you say you are. What this tells me is that you the waking conscious mind wants the change, but some part or parts of you do not. And those parts of the subconscious mind, at this time, are stronger than the waking consciousness mind. Those parts need to be addressed.
12. You might be working with a therapist, energy or spiritual healer, inner work facilitator who is just not good, not skilled and/or not experienced enough to help you with your issue. Or you and your facilitator are not in energetic alignment. Choose your people wisely. We have all worked with facilitators who stretch us to new heights and breakthroughs, and others who are unable to troubleshoot the problem, lacking skills, project their stuff onto others or are plain scammers. Be discerning and move on quickly when you catch on.
13. You do the same process, technique over and over again. Our subconscious parts are crafty. They catch on quickly as to what you are doing regarding inner work. They will figure out a way around it to preserve themselves. Keep your parts guessing. Switch it up. Try new therapies and techniques.
14. You are pursuing outdated goals and dreams. Update your goals and dreams list frequently.
15. Your wishes and dreams are not in alignment to what your Soul Essence is here to experience. I know this one is hard to hear. I didn’t like it the first time I was introduced to the possibility. If your human self and Soul Essence have different goals and desires what happens? Your human self can FORCE the change or manifestation to occur but it won’t be easy, and usually is not satisfying or long lasting. If you bend to the desires of Soul Essence, you are in alignment to what you came to earth to experience and create.
You may not be getting the change you want because your Soul Essence has a different plan. The Divine Plan is different. A plan that at this point you can’t even imagine.
How do you know this to be the case? Have a conversation with your Soul Essence, or some call it Higher Self. This is the aspect of you that is your higher conscious wiser self. It always has your back, is rooting for you, knows everything about you from this lifetime and others on and off planet. I offer a Higher Self Channeling Process that will help you connect to your Higher Self and get answers. It might be something to consider. Click Here.
16. Your “parts and aspects” need an update. Often when working with clients we discover that some of their subconscious parts and aspects, which create the whole, are seriously out of date. For example, subconscious parts think my 57 year old client is four years old still living in a troubled family situation. As a result these parts react and respond to everyday life through the eyes and energy of a four year old with fear, uncertainty; feeling unloved and scared. The parts need to be gently and lovingly awakened to the current timeline. Brought up to speed with what has transpired in the person’s life over the last 53 years. Become aware that while they stayed frozen or stuck at age four, the conscious mind and physical body grew up and is now an adult. That family situation is long gone. But the effects of the past linger because the part lives the event/memory every day.
Inner updates are an important piece of the work I do with clients, and must be done carefully. Some parts wake up quickly, are happy, excited, ready to embrace new and change. Others are unsure and need time, space to awaken and shift. It’s different from person to person and issue to issue. The good news is we also have parts who have grown up with us and are on the same wavelength or timeline. They often chime in expressing readiness to help that out of date part blossom.
17. Sometimes strange or unsettling things come up during DIY inner work and people don’t know how to address it on their own. Spirit attachments, memories they can’t make sense of, mom/dad’s etc. voice in their head, flashes of colour, symbols, sounds, unusual even uneasy feelings moving through their body etc. When a person is doing inner work on their own they often wish it away or shout cancel, cancel, cancel, or pretend it doesn’t matter. But it does matter. It showed up. You can’t wish or cancel what has come up away. Often those energies, spirits or parts will laugh at you. They need to be firmly and correctly dealt with.
Presented here are 17 possibilities of why your inner work is not working. I suspect that as you read through the information, you have had an intuitive hit or flash of what might be your inner work stumbling block. Also if you resisted a piece of information discussed, investigate the resistance. Often our “parts” will resist information that they know will create a shift that you want but they are against.
Doing inner work on your own is not always easy and often we need a helping hand. Inner work sessions are my speciality. I’ve been doing them for 19 years and I know how to address unusual and perceived difficult situations. My sessions are offered in a three session package. Currently I am extending to all, a Special Offer of 50% Savings to help people during these scratchy economic times. The special offer expires August 18, 2023. Plus anyone who signs up for sessions will be grandfathered at that price. If you are interested click here for more information.
Also feel free to send me an email regarding what you want to work on for CHANGE and we can discuss if we are a fit.
Love Esther
Personal Special Offer, Time Sensitive: https://whispersfromthesoul.com/store-2/life-changing-personal-sessions/
Hi I’m Esther Bartkiw, holistic core belief therapist, intuitive and energy reader; entangled with LIGHT. I blend core belief therapy with psychological tips, tools and techniques, spiritual concepts and practices to facilitate for my clients deep inner change which positively transforms their day to day reality.
Access Me Here: https://linktr.ee/estherbartkiw
