Face Book Question: A topic I’m always interested in is how to eliminate toxicity in the work place. At my place I encounter so many toxic people, I meditate daily, do emotional & spiritual self tune ups, yet, by the end of the week I can be drained. Would love to see a blog on that. Keep up the great work~! love ya!!!” ~L
Esther’s answer: The topic of how to handle toxic and negative people is one that I field daily. Most people will offer two pieces of advice: cut toxic people out of your life or make peace with them. It is good advice and I do agree. Now let’s see if we can go a bit deeper and open up a new level of awareness and consciousness.
1. What if we all stop viewing people as “Toxic” or “Negative” and instead look at people with love and compassion?
We are limited in using words and language to describe what we are experiencing and feeling. It is easy to drop into the label or judgment of people being toxic and negative. I get it. At the same time keep in mind toxic and negative people are people. And in oneness we are all connected.
Most likely at one time we were all vibrating at the frequency of “toxic or negative” to someone else. When I was functioning in an unconscious haze all about Self, full of anger, mistrust and manipulation, some people cut me out of their lives and others looked at me with love and compassion. Yes I learned lessons from those who dropped me like a hot potato. But I will always be grateful for those who saw in me what I couldn’t see, who loved me when I couldn’t love myself, who knew that one day I would awaken to consciousness. And yes you can show love and compassion towards people even at a distance.
2. Choose. If it doesn’t feel right, light and fun to have someone in your life experience then choose something different. The choice may take form as a complete letting go or it might be spending less time with a person , not allowing yourself to get drawn into their conversations, taking the lead and setting the tone when you are around them. Make a choice. Who do you want to spend time with and how often?
It doesn’t matter if the person is your spouse, family member, friend, co-worker, employer. It doesn’t matter if you see them everyday, have to work side by side or come into their vicinity once in while. If it doesn’t feel good, if the energy vibration is uncomfortable make a choice. Step away if it doesn’t feel good, whatever that means to you. If you have trouble making that choice because your mind jumps in with all kinds of yeah buts, such as: “You don’t understand. I can’t. It’s not possible. I would have to quit my job,” then do your inner work and release the limiting beliefs, judgments and conclusions holding you back.
3. Stand in your power. When you stand in your power you embody who you truly be; a magnificent infinite being full of choice and all possibilities. A being who makes decisions for her/himself and other people’s opinions are only information. When you stand in the power and light of the Divine Love that you are, then the people who vibrate at a different frequency have no hold on you. There is nothing to fear from them whether you live or work together or stand in line beside each other at the grocery store. They won’t trigger you. No one has the power to suck and drain your energy unless you give them that power.
4. Notice what the person is showing and teaching you. People often come into our lives to teach us valuable lessons. That person with a different vibe may be hanging around in your field because you have not yet learned what they are trying to teach you.
What are they mirroring to you? Perhaps it’s a habit you used to have and they are giving you confirmation of how far you’ve come. Maybe they are displaying a pattern or belief you are dealing with now and are reflecting to you what it looks and feels like from the other side of the fence. Or they maybe they are teaching you how to choose, stand in your power and show compassion. What if that person is the means to help you feel the emotion they trigger inside of you so that you can learn how to flush it out of your system without reaction?
Yes you can wrap yourself in white light, an orb of protection and/or cut out so called “toxic” people out of your life. Those are certainly choices. Now considering adding these to the mix of possibilities:
- view people with compassion and love rather then with labels
- notice who feels great to be around, who doesn’t and choose how much time if any, you want to spend with them
- stand in your power and you will have nothing to fear from anyone or anything
- notice what people are mirroring or trying to teach you
- and if you struggle with any of these suggestions transmute the limiting beliefs holding you back from expansion of Self