We are moving through a period in which we are having to let go of old systems, patternings, beliefs and paradigms. One of the ways you will notice it is in your day to day life when memories from the past float to the surface of your awareness. Most of these memories are packed with emotion that you feel in the moment as they come up for your attention. Waves of shame, guilt, anger, sadness, grief overcome you as the memory surfaces.
Here’s an example. I am currently in the midst of conducting a money experiment based on a recent download of information that I received. And it is stirring the pot in areas of abundance.
One morning right at the point of my awakening from slumber, I was flooded with the memory of being a young girl about 10 years old and at the grocery store with my dad. We were buying steaks for a family BBQ and he left me in line with the steaks and money to pay while he searched out another item.
When I got to the front of the line I looked at my hands and the money was gone $60. I was mortified and embarrassed as I looked around to see if the money had dropped on the floor. I looked at the people around me to see if they had picked up the money and were going to give it back. No one did.
I stepped out of line afraid of what my dad would say. Sixty dollars was alot of money for steaks back then and while we were not poor my family certainly wasn’t wealthy enough to shrug off the loss and move on.
I also felt bad for my father. As a kid I knew how hard he worked for his money and now I had lost it.
When my dad returned to the check out counter and I told him what happened he seemed more angry at the people around me for not being honest and keeping the money I had dropped. I felt his despair at having to pay twice for the groceries along with the pity from the lady at check out.
While that memory has surfaced from time to time, I knew my money experiment was pushing it to the forefront to defuse the emotional charge, make peace and move on.
That pattern of feeling bad for my dad because he worked hard for his money was also a patterning I needed to release. That feeling bad was keeping me linked to him in a cycle of struggle and working hard for money.
And so I lay in bed processing myself and making change, taking the charge out of the memory in order to move on in free flow of abundance and in life .
This current period of letting go of old patternings has been a focus of our inner work since summer and will ramp up this fall. Instead of pushing memories which surface back down or ignoring them all together learn from them and release.
~Love, Esther
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