Have you ever thrown your hands up in the air and pulled at your hair in frustration all the while wondering, “Am I ever going to get through my journey of personal growth?”
I have felt that way many times over the years and at the same time acknowledge the leaps and bounds I have made from where I was to where I am today. The difference in Self is huge.
My mind, outlook, perspective, emotional and physical being, my beliefs, attitude, energy vibration and environment have all changed dramatically. I acknowledge the many reality shifts which have occurred in my life. I know there has been growth. I see the changes. I am a completely different being and yet issues keep rising to the surface and deeper layers of meta issues continue to poke at me for exploration, change and release.
It is during these times, once I have grrrr’d at the situation, that I simply sit back and say to myself, “Esther, remember life is truly a journey.” I remind myself that I chose to come to the planet, in this body, with this family, at this time, to grow and learn; to experience, be creative and to serve mankind. All so that we can all do this journey of growth and expansion together in oneness.
While I do get a little exasperated at times wondering will this ever be over? I’m finding as many of you are, that the shifts and transitions are coming much more quickly than ever before.
Yes there are issues rising to the surface which need healing and require me to go inside and unravel the tangled mess but there are also moments of release which are deliciously spontaneous. When they come in wild dreams during my sleep state I find it a particularly fascinating.
For example, during a recent sleep state following some deep ancestral work, I dreamt I was in a hotel room with several other people. None of whom were familiar to me. The hotel room had an “itchy” energy to it, as if it wasn’t clean.
On the bed was a huge pillow and out of it merged a big, fat, juicy worm. We all groaned in disgust but I as the observer knew the worm was a thought form leaving my subconscious self. Another worm followed.
Then all of a sudden from the middle of that pillow I saw legs kicking. It appeared there was a baby ready to be birthed from the pillow; the pillow was the womb. As the child emerged I saw that it was not a child rather a being already in adult form with a menacing expression on his face. I took the child and placed it outside of the hotel room. It rose to its feet and walked away still looking at me in a menacing way. Again the observer in me knew that this was some deep seated menacing energy that was being released.
Once back in the hotel room I noticed a daddy long legs underneath the desk. It quickly morphed into a giant insect. Someone in the room exclaimed, “That is a prehistoric bug.” Because I had just completed ancestral inner work going back deep into my generational lineage, I as the observer knew this was an energy that too required release and I shooed the insect out of the room.
I love how our mind and being give us signs of our personal growth.
Are you like me and find this journey of personal and spiritual growth fascinating?
Once I moved through the core issues of self worth, love, deserving etc… I actually began to enjoy tackling the inner work. It’s fun! In fact one of my favorite past-times is to work on me.
And so I remind myself when I am wondering, “Will this inner work ever end?” that I am living in a time of accelerated change. Some of which happens spontaneously and some of which needs inner digging and release. Then I cast my eyes to the sky and thank Universe/God for creating such time as this.
~Love, Esther
