I have to be skinny to be successful. Ugh, I couldn’t believe it when this belief surfaced during some recent deep inner work.
I didn’t even know I held this belief and I was surprised when it came up because after years of working on my beliefs arround weight, body image and the link to myself, I thought I was done with it.
Long gone are the days of believing, “I’ll be happy when I am skinny.” Long gone are the days of not loving or accepting myself as I am. For years now I have been living in the peace and bliss of life no matter what my weight.
So when this belief surfaced, I have to be skinny to be successful, I sighed deeply and then got to work unraveling and changing it.
How did I find this belief? For the last two months I have been in what I refer to as a lull. The lull started in April and continued on and on and on.
I know the difference between a lull, something we all go through from time to time and a lull that needs attention. A couple of weeks ago I realized my lull needed attention.
How did I come to this conclusion? There is a project I am working on. I’m creating a new brand, You’re Almost There Girl. When I started I was gung ho and on fire. Then in April I hit my lull and didn’t even look at it. The project was tugging at me at the back of my mind but my heart was not into it.
As the days of no progression continued on I knew I needed to deal with the situation. So I took a day off from work and became my own client. Using the Core Belief Engineering technique, I found buried in my subconscious mind the sabatoguing belief, I have to be skinny to be successful. The belief linked weight and body image to what I am capable of and able to achieve in my life. It stopped me from moving forward on my project. It was a belief that I held deeply on my own and inherited from family.
I began to clear the limiting and negative belief systems attached to this belief because it never boils down to just one belief. There are memories, outside influence, emotions, supporting beliefs and behaviors which need exploration and change.
I asked myself, “If my subconscious believes I have to be skinny to be successful and it wants to be successful why isn’t it bending over backwards to make me thin as a rail?”
It was a good question because the answer that came forward was, “Can I handle success?” and the implication that I can’t. Consciously I know I can handle success, but some part of me didn’t buy it.
I looked deeper and found the belief, “It’s hard enough to take care of myself and all of my day to day things, how am I going to manage taking care of all the details of success?” Oh that was a big one.
(Keep in mind that success meant not just career but all areas, relationship, social, talents, passions, abilities etc..)
Attached to that belief were negative beliefs about being supported in life.
Can you see now why sessions with me in my CBE practice are six to eight hours? It’s about getting to the core and sticking with the process until you get there.
When the work was complete I felt light, free and on fire. I was ready to sit down at my computer and engage in the creation of my new brand.
Then the Universe sent me confirmation of my shift. At the same time my lull started I commissioned Craig of Big Daddy Kreativ to help me come up with design concepts for my logo and new website. A month ago I checked in with Craig and because he was swamped with a big project, mine hadn’t been completed. I didn’t mind because I was in lull.
Two days after I re-engineered and cleared my negative belief I received an email from Craig. He said, “Here are the proofs for your logo, business cards and header.”
I laughed to myself for it was no co-incidence that the information came hot on the heels of my own personal shift. I thanked the Universe for its wink and acknowledgement that I was back on track and then whispered to myself my own advice, “Esther, You’re Almost There Girl.”
~Love, Esther
Thanks Esther, this is a post i think so many of us can relate too, I find it gives me a shiver to read a post that is so close to home and needed so much at the same present time:)
Sandra: you are right this one hits close to home for so many. Happy that the words found you at the perfect time.
Thanks Esther, this is a post i think so many of us can relate too, I find it gives me a shiver to read a post that is so close to home and needed so much at the same present time:)
Sandra: you are right this one hits close to home for so many. Happy that the words found you at the perfect time.
Very interesting! I had the exact opposite feeling. I have to be overweight to be successful. I’m a cook! I was always told “who trusts a skinny cook?” Well, I’ve been an overweight cook for years, and now, I’m on the verge of being a “healthy” weight cook, and I’m proud to say successful at my business! It’s amazing what we’re told for years and what effect it has on our subconscious.
Keep it up Esther……..you’re not almost there, YOU ARE THERE!
Thank you for all the help you have given me, whether you knew it or not!
Oh Lisa I love you and your honesty. We grew up with 2 different sets of beliefs regarding weight and success and both have managed to trump it and move on. Cheers to us!
Very interesting! I had the exact opposite feeling. I have to be overweight to be successful. I’m a cook! I was always told “who trusts a skinny cook?” Well, I’ve been an overweight cook for years, and now, I’m on the verge of being a “healthy” weight cook, and I’m proud to say successful at my business! It’s amazing what we’re told for years and what effect it has on our subconscious.
Keep it up Esther……..you’re not almost there, YOU ARE THERE!
Thank you for all the help you have given me, whether you knew it or not!
Oh Lisa I love you and your honesty. We grew up with 2 different sets of beliefs regarding weight and success and both have managed to trump it and move on. Cheers to us!
Great post Ester! I can relate 100% I too struggle with weight and know that it is deeper then that. It is true that we may just be scared of success and blame it on fat! Thanks for being so opening and sharing this with us!
Great post Ester! I can relate 100% I too struggle with weight and know that it is deeper then that. It is true that we may just be scared of success and blame it on fat! Thanks for being so opening and sharing this with us!
Great post Ester! I can relate 100% I too struggle with weight and know that it is deeper then that. It is true that we may just be scared of success and blame it on fat! Thanks for being so opening and sharing this with us!
Thanks Nicole for reading the post and your words. This is a very big issue for many women and some men.
Great post Ester! I can relate 100% I too struggle with weight and know that it is deeper then that. It is true that we may just be scared of success and blame it on fat! Thanks for being so opening and sharing this with us!
Thanks Nicole for reading the post and your words. This is a very big issue for many women and some men.