When People Take An Instant Dislike To You

 

It was cardio day at the gym this morning and I was on a crosstrainer getting into the rhythm of my stride. I was 42 minutes into my workout when my arms became tired so I put them on my hips and kept my legs pumping.

One of my gym buddies, Campbell  walked by.  He stood in  front of me and mimicked me  working out with my hands on my hips. He laughed and I laughed and he took a step away. Then he stopped, turned around and mimicked me again as I stood with my hands on my hips. Once again we both laughed.  Then he did it a third time,  shook his head and walked into the men’s change room.

I  laughed off the situation and didn’t take it personally because Campbell  and I have a pleasant relationship and he often teases me when we see each other at the gym.

 A few minutes later he emerged from the change room walked over to me and said, “When I saw you with your hands on your hips it reminded me of  my mother standing in front of me when I was a little boy, with her hands on her hips scolding me and saying, “Oh Campbell, what did you do now?” He continued on and said, “Seeing you just now took me me back to that memory.”

I told him that my arms had gotten tired so  I  put them on my hips to rest  for moment. We both laughed (yes we laugh allot at the gym)  wished each other a great day and he went on his way.

As I finished my workout I was reminded  of  something I speak to my therapy clients about on many occasions.  How we respond to people is based on our perceptions, beliefs and our past experiences.

Have you ever encountered a situation when someone instantly disliked you and you had no idea why? You  never met them before or if you knew of them there had never been any interaction between the two of you so the dislike didn’t make sense.

Your mind started turning and wondering why does this person dislike me so much?

Often that instant dislike has nothing to do with you but everything to with what has been triggered within the person when they saw you. Their reaction popped up because of their unresolved memories, issues and  limiting beliefs. Your tone may remind them of the teacher who yelled at them  in school, embarrassing them in front of their friends. The way you dress may remind them of a former boyfriend or girlfriend  who dumped them and hurt them deeply.

The phrase or words you use may have flashed them back to how mom or dad spoke to them when they were a child. The way you sip your drink may remind them of  loud and obnoxious Uncle Ted.  While there are always exceptions, most often the  person who instantly dislikes you is taking their negative associations and projecting it upon you. Their dislike has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their unresolved issues, memories and beliefs.

While you can’t control the inner thinking and workings of another, you can influence the situation by how you respond to their reaction.

If you react in a negative way feeling hurt and begin  to wonder, “Why don’t they like me?”  your reaction may take you to a place where your insecurities rise to the top. This may suggest that you have your own issues of self worth, confidence and belonging to deal with. If you respond to someone’s dislike or mocking  by owning your worth, standing in your power and knowledge of  your Self then you defuse the situation automatically.

So the next time someone takes an instant dislike to you or mimics you as happened to me this morning, remember it’s coming from their own “stuff” (technical term). But also notice how you react in turn. The  way you respond will indicate how deeply you love and believe in your Self.

~Love, Esther

Check out my website site www.changfromwithin.ca for information on how to create inner resolution and change limiting beliefs.

Channeled Readings Starting At $28

Sometimes we need help finding answers when we can't get them ourselves. Whether its regarding a relationship, career, health, money or needing a little guidance and direction because we feel stuck, channeled readings are an excellent way to get the understanding and universal perspective you are looking for and needing right now. Channeled readings with Esther and The Tribunal start at $28

  • http://www.BooksToSavour.ca Denise

    Well put Ester. One of the greatest lessons I learned from several years of introspection and psychotherapy was “it’s not about me”. When someone else is angry or acting particularly difficult and I’m feeling attacked, it’s important for me to remember that their anger is not about me. I can choose to be offended or to just let it float over me. It’s hard to not “engage” when someone instigates, but I work at it. Thank you for the reminder!

  • http://www.changefromwithin.ca Esther

    As I mentioned in the post there are always exceptions to the rule and when we find we trigger the same reactions in people over and over, it is time to look at ourselves. But for the most part people are reacting from their own stuff. It’s liberating when you realize it. Thanks for the comment.

    Love, Esther